my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
