great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
