Midget sex pt 2 tonight
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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