and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
