a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
