Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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