He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
