i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
