she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
