So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
