loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
nutella sex= disaster
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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