the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
