smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
