My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dignity is for republicans.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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