WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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