Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
