we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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