'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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