Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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