If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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