singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
