she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
