no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You left your phone here
Wait...
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