Your dad touched me again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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