I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
