i just had sex bonerless
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
