Do you still have your period?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
