508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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