He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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