Porn is love you can see.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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