YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
