i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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