I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
