It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
