# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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