In the future we'll all be gay
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize