Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
