It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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