I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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