Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
