Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
