just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
