There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
