Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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