So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
