my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
