Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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