think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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