We won't sleep together?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
