THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize