it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
