My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
