Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
she smelled like a LAN party
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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