In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
