I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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