I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
