i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
