we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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