Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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