I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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