We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
