fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
