i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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