it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
