And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize