I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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