at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
