shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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