I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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