i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
