For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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