I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
