she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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