This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
