This show inspires me to have sex in space
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize