we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
