sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
